I guess I am still in shock. It just does not seem real. You're just on another haul, right? You went on vacation and you'll be back in a few days, right? How can you be gone? You were JUST here. My brain is working so hard to squeeze out all the memories. The sound of your voice is still fresh in my ears from our chat on wednesday- the very slight but familiar gruffness, the easy going tone, the smile that I can hear through the phone as you talk. You're still at the hospital and you will be back home soon, right? How can you be gone? You were JUST here.
I can see you standing tall and strong as you shift your weight from your good leg to your bad and back again. You made it look easy, but I knew it wasn't. You were a big 'ol huggable bear of a guy. You kind of took on the "big brother I never had" spot that made me feel grateful to know you. Spending time with you was always like good medicine for me. You were smart and funny and just had an amazing magnetic charisma about you. I just wish more people could have known how much fun it was to be around you. You loved to laugh and even more, you loved to make us laugh. You were one of the coolest people I have ever met.
I always admired how important family was to you. Although you enjoyed some of the better things life could offer, you were soo grounded. You knew that family and the people you loved trumped everything else. I knew that about you not because you told me but because you lived it. It was obvious that you had learned some important lessons in life and you were quick to appreciate the simple things.
It's just not fair. You were JUST here.... I will never say "goodbye". You will always be here... every time someone says your name and they can't help but smile thinking about you... you are still here.
I love you and miss you soo much my friend.
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